Lesson 11 – Making Good Decisions

Introduction – Decisions
  1. Making decisions is one of the toughest things we do in our lives.  Lots of decisions are made for us growing up, but as we get older, we face a variety of decisions that can dramatically alter the course of our lives.
    1. We face decisions about what kind of education to get, and how much education to get.
    2. We face decisions about how much we exercise or if we exercise at all – either can lead to death, unfortunately.
    3. We face decisions about what to eat – you can pull a Supersize Me and eat Mcdonald’s all the time, but that will have a particular result in your life.
    4. We face decisions about whether we should marry, and if so, who we should marry.
    5. And those are the big ones.  Not to mention, there are a ton of little decisions we face every day that can have a dramatic effect on our lives.
      1. I’m representing a guy in a case right now who made one small decision one time to stop and see a friend on his way back to school after a weekend.  Because of that decision, he got into a fight with a guy and ended up shooting and killing him.
      2. He’s been sitting in jail for the last 15 years as a result.  When I talked to him recently, he mentioned again – if only I had gone straight back home instead of stopping to see this friend first.
  2. So we all understand that the decisions we make can have a huge impact on what happens in our life.
    1. Some decisions are irreversible – we have to live with the results of those decisions for a very long time.
    2. Some decisions are reversible, but it takes great effort to do that.
    3. Some decisions seem bad initially, but it turns out God has better plans or is able to turn it out beautifully for our good.
  3. So how in the world do we make good decisions?
    1. We’ve talked a lot about the gospel.  We’ve talked a lot about our relationship with the Lord.  We’ve talked a lot about digging into the Bible.
    2. Why?  Because the foundation of good decisions comes back to what we’re focusing on in this class – building a good, real, vertical relationship with the God of the universe.  
    3. Learning his heart for us is the best place to start, because he loves us so much and aches for us to make good decisions.

Finding the Right Authority
  1. Much of the issues like college or not, moving out or not, etc. are areas where we have to work out our own salvation between us and the Lord.  We can weigh the decisions we have to make, but in the end, we aren’t usually going to have a specific “here’s what you do” from Hezekiah 13:13 type of message.
  2. So that naturally all of things bring up the question of How Do We Make Decisions and Know They Are God’s Will?
    1. As Christians, we all know that God has a plan for our lives.  We know we haven’t been left on earth to just sit around—there is something God wants us to do while we are here.
    2. For this lesson, I’ve used a fantastic book by Kevin DeYoung on God’s will that I found incredibly helpful.  The title alone makes clear where he stands, but it is interesting.  The book is called “Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will” and then he proposes an alternate title: “How to make a decision without dreams, visions, fleeces, impressions, open doors, random Bible verses, casting lots, liver shivers, writing in the sky, etc.”
      1. It’s a resource I would recommend for you to explore.
    3. It’s natural for us to want to make sure, as people desiring to please God, that what we are doing is what He has designed for us.  We want to fulfill the plan he has for us here.  And this has been an issue down through the ages of believers.
      1. In Psalm 139:16, David acknowledges this plan for us, saying: “Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect [or my unformed substance – before you were born]; and in thy book all my members [days] were written, which in continuance were fashioned [formed], when as yet there was none of them.”
        1. So as God built you before you were born, he also was building his beautiful design for your life, before you have lived a single day.
      2. So we all naturally wonder, when we face decisions, how do we figure out what that written plan is?  It’s already written down, so what if I mess it up?
    4. In the midst of this, we also know that God is sovereign over all things.  He is ultimately in control of everything.
      1. Isaiah 46:9-10 says, “Remember the former things of old: for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like me, Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure [or I will accomplish all my purpose]:”
      2. God is going to accomplish His plans, because He is absolutely sovereign, so then we wonder how in the world are we supposed to help that along?
    5. Then we have the normal answer when we discuss God’s will, that there are certain things we know are the will of God.  If you’ve been in church for any period of time, you’ll have heard a sermon along this line, explaining certain things that the speaker “knows” is the will of God for your life.
      1. So, for example, Paul writes, “This is the will of God, that you abstain from fornication [sexual sin outside of marriage].”  There are several other examples of specific things we know are God’s will.
      2. But those types of sermons and teaching don’t really address the root issue of discerning God’s individual plan for us.
      3. Knowing that I should abstain from fornication is good, but it doesn’t tell me whether I should move out or stay at home.  It doesn’t tell me whether I should go to college or not.  It doesn’t tell me who I should or shouldn’t marry.
    6. So then that brings us back to other sections of Scripture that indicate that God’s will is something important for us to be doing.
      1. It makes a difference in how we live our lives: In Matthew 7:21, Jesus says, “Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.”
      2. It makes a difference if we’re doing God’s will.
      3. In I John 2:17, John warns us about the attraction of the world, the flesh, and the devil, and sums that up with this statement: “And the world passeth away [is going away], and the lust thereof [its desires]: but he that doeth the will of God abideth forever.”
      4. We shouldn’t be focusing on the things of the world, but rather on doing the will of God – there is something that happens as a result – we’re doing things of eternal significance.
  3. So all of this uncertainty hits us especially when we’re making major life decisions.  We wonder how to approach a person or a situation or a move or a problem with a friend.  We want to do God’s will.
    1. So let’s walk through some examples of how NOT to find God’s will.
  4. Examples of how NOT to find God’s will.
    1. The “Open Your Bible Randomly” Method
      1. This is the method that has you open your Bible, see the first verse that your eyes fall on, and take that as God’s direction.
      2. One man tells this story about using this method:
      3. “At first it seemed to work. One time I asked God whether I should go out with this really pretty girl named Melissa. When I opened the Bible, the first verse that met my eye was Proverbs 6:25, 'Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes.' So I asked, 'Then who should I go out with?' This time when I opened the Bible, the first verse that met my eye was Isaiah 55:12, 'You shall go out with joy.' So I asked out Joy.”
      4. So only one problem with this – Joy said no.  But there was another problem: “one day I happened to ask that same uncle [who suggested this method of finding God’s will] why he'd taken up cigarettes. He said 'God told me to smoke.' First he'd opened the Bible at random and read the 1 Corinthians 6:19, 'Do you not know that your body is a temple ... ?' Then he'd opened it again and read Revelations 15:8, 'The temple was filled with smoke.'”
      5. So obviously, this method leads to us reading our interpretation into whatever we read – we’re not really finding God’s will, but treating God like one of those “magic 8-balls” that have answers to questions float up.
        1. Again, this also shows the importance of good Bible study – remember our rule?  Context is king!  When you’re grabbing verses like this out of context, something is wrong.
      6. God doesn’t give us his Word so we can magically figure out exactly what he wants, but so that we can get to know him.  This is not a good way at all.
    2. Putting Out a Fleece
      1. This is another popular method.  Gideon used this to help discern God’s direction for him on whether to fight the Midianites.
      2. But think about the context for why Gideon put out the fleece – he wasn’t walking in faith, he was walking in doubt.  He didn’t think God was really going to do what He said He would, so Gideon had to get an additional sign that it was the right thing.
      3. Again – many of the same problems – we’re treating God as a magical force, not growing in a real relationship with Him because we really aren’t learning to know Him at all.
    3. Casting Lots
      1. People who rely on casting lots often cite back to Proverbs, where the lot is cast into the lap, but its decision is from the Lord.  We’re relying on the Lord’s sovereignty, they say, so we can determine His will.
      2. My favorite story along this line was when John Wesley began to use this method for discerning God’s will.  George Whitfield was considering coming to America to preach at the time, and Wesley cast lots, determined from that that it was not God’s will for Whitfield to go to America and told him not to go.  Whitfield went anyway, and the Lord used him in one of the Great Awakenings in our land—it apparently was God’s will for him to go!  Or God used the decision Whitfield made for His glory . . . did it “become” His will?
      3. Casting lots has many of the same problems that fleeces and random Bible verses have—it is operating from a position of doubt instead of faith.  Instead of growing in a relationship and knowing God’s will by knowing God, we are trying to find it through “magical” methods that may or may not lead us to the right conclusion.
    4. Open Door/Closed Door Method
      1. This is another one that was decidedly less “magic” than other options—look at what doors are opened and closed, or pray God opens or closes doors for us to walk through.
      2. There is some wisdom to that, but this method can lead to deception as well.  It is just as possible that Satan can “open” a door or a situation we’re facing, and if we assume that every open door is God’s will, we could get ourselves in serious trouble.
      3. If I’m trying to decide whether it’s God’s will to be friends with someone who isn’t walking with the Lord and is trying to get me to do wrong, repeated “opportunities” for quality time with that person may be an “open” door, but may not be the wisest decision.  Could be an open door to witness, or it could be an open door to compromise.
      4. Obviously, we need more than just a look at what doors are open and what doors are closed.  It may be helpful, but relying on that method alone won’t get us where we need to be.
    5. Problems with these views
      1. All of these views about God’s will assume that God is acting somehow like He’s playing poker with us.  He’s holding the right cards, the exact cards we need.  We have to try to deduce what He’s holding – and we better guess right.  If we somehow get it wrong, then we’re going to be tarnished for life, stuck in a life of living what is second-best instead of getting God’s best.
      2. But this reflects a real lack of understanding about God – he cares much more for where we end up than we do—and he’s not in the business of hiding things just to make our life harder or more difficult.
      3. Another problem with these views is that they result in an almost-obsession about the future.
        1. We want God to show us everything about His ways and what He has in store.  We want to know the end of the story.
        2. But James makes clear that this is a foolish view.  Remember in 4:13-15 when he talks about the men who were obsessed about their future plans?  They had it all mapped out – they were going to this town, staying there a year, buying and selling and making a big profit.  James said they were foolish – they should have been depending on the Lord instead of obsessing about the future.
        3. What does James say they should be doing?  They should be saying “If the Lord wills” – not necessarily outwardly, but inwardly at least – if we live to be 100, God willed that.  If we make it to the grocery store this afternoon, God willed it.  If we’re killed in a car wreck on the way, God willed that too.
        4. We have to understand we don’t know the future.  We’re not gods who can figure it out.  We need to walk by faith together with the Lord, not obsess about our futures.
      4. Another big problem with all of these views is that it disclaims our personal responsibility for decisions we make.
        1. If we can assign a reason to be “God’s will,” then we can pretty much disclaim our personal responsibility for anything.  Basically, we can blame God if things don’t go well or if people are disappointed in our decisions.
        2. Kevin DeYoung tells a story in his book:
          1. I’ll never forget my poor beleaguered roommate talking with me after he took a risk and told a nice young lady that he liked her.  They went on a long walk.  He was pretty sure she would reciprocate his declaration of affection.  But it turned out she wasn’t interested.  She was a sweet girl, a good Christian.  She didn’t mean to have bad theology.  But instead of just saying “I’m not interested” or “I don’t like you” or “Quit talking me” or something, she went all spiritual on him.  “I’ve been praying a lot about you,” she demurred, “and the Holy Spirit told me no.”  “No?” my confused roommate asked.  “No .  . never,” she replied.  Poor guy—he got rejected, not only by this sweet girl, but by the Holy Spirit.  The third person of the Trinity took a break from pointing people to Jesus to tell this girl not to date my roommate.
        3. Obviously, we pray about things and seek the Lord’s will about things.  But if we’re using “God’s will” as an excuse to remove ourselves from personal responsibility for making a decision, we need to think very seriously about that.
  5. So if it’s not like that, what do we do?  Let’s turn to what Jesus had to say about the way of God in the Sermon on the Mount.
    1. In Matthew 6:25-33, Jesus tells us a lot about life.  I want to read these verses in their entirety and then start unpacking some of these things together.
      1. Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life [don’t be anxious for your life], what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment [clothes]?  Behold the fowls of the air [look at the birds]: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?  Which of you by taking thought [being anxious] can add one cubit unto his stature [make himself taller]?  And why take ye thought [anxious about] for raiment [clothes]? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?  Therefore take no thought [do not be anxious], saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed [what shall we wear]?  (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But [important clarifier] seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. “
    2. Jesus does not want us worrying about the future.  He knows that we need food, drink, clothes, all these kinds of things.  And He is going to provide and take care of those needs we have.   Jesus advises that if we’re worry about those kinds of things, we are not walking in faith – in fact, He says that we are people of “little faith” in verse 30.
    3. But there is one critical thing in this passage that Jesus says we need to be seeking – God’s kingdom and His righteousness.  He doesn’t say to get a divine word or feeling of peace prior to deciding between going bowling and playing a round of putt-putt golf.  He tells us we need to be running after His commands
    4. So the question we need to be asking isn’t, “Does God want me to move to Seattle,” or “Does God want me to go out with Shelley,” or “Does God want me to quit my job and go into ministry,” but rather, “Am I loving the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and my neighbor as myself?”  That’s the key issue – our relationship with him.
  6. This isn’t just what Jesus says, as if that wasn’t enough.
    1. When Paul was faced with a serious decision – where to go for ministry, he tried several different places.  He kept pushing forward in different ways, and was wrong several times, but eventually the doors opened for the right place.
    2. It wasn’t a result of some kind of magic decision Paul had to make – he had to just try several things until the Lord made things clear.
    3. There’s nothing wrong with that – Paul wasn’t stuck with God’s “second best” because he tried some things before other doors were opened.

Guidance in Decision Making

    1. Now, we’ve been saying that God doesn’t want us worrying or obsessed about the future.  He wants us to know He is taking care of us.
    2. But let me hasten to add that God does guide us in our decisions.
      1. I can already hear some of you saying, “Wha?”  Let me try to explain.
      2. Very different than some kind of secret future plan we have to figure out on our own, God does help us understand what decisions we need to make.
      3. But it is NOT a situation where we have to find the right answer or lose everything.  Not a situation where we have to correctly discern God’s will or somehow settle for second best.
    3. God guides us in our decisions, but does not want us obsessing about the future.
    4. But what in the world does this look like?

What Does This Look Like?

  1. How does God guide us?
    1. God can lead through Scripture
      1. Ok, so we know this isn’t a random Bible verse situation.  We’ve debunked that already, I hope.
      2. But God does guide us through Scripture.  Obviously there are some principles we must follow, like being equally yoked.  Marrying an unbeliever can be seriously problematic – it’s not a good decision.
      3. So Scriptural leading in those situations is good and right – God is teaching us more of Himself through His revealed word.  Not a verse that says “Thou shalt move to Los Angeles and teach Christian school,” but a verse that helps us understand more of God.
    2. God can lead through impressions
      1. There have been many times we are faced with situations where we as believers can be guided by impressions.  Sometimes we have peace about something or not.  We may just not feel comfortable about something, not really knowing why.
      2. But there is a dramatic difference between being guided by impressions versus relying on them.  Remember, whether you have peace or not, it’s not God’s direct revelation to you that this is good or bad.  
        1. Do you see the distinction?
        2. It’s one thing to say I don’t have peace, therefore I know for sure God doesn’t want me to do this versus saying I don’t have peace, so I’m not comfortable going forward until I feel better about this.
        3. It’s obviously a slight difference, but a difference all the same.
    3. On the issue of God’s will, John Newton said, “In general, he [God] guides and directs his people by affording them, in answer to prayer, the light of his Holy Spirit, which enables them to understand and to love the Scriptures.  The Word of God is not to be used like a lottery; nor is it designed to instruct us by shreds and scraps, which, detached from their proper places, have no determinative import; but it is to furnish us with just principles, right apprehensions to regulate our judgments and affections, and thereby to influence and direct our conduct.”
      1. What is he saying?  This approach to guidance and the will of God is simply called wisdom.  It’s not a magic way to learn what to do, when to do it, and who to marry, but it is the way to understand God’s ways and will.

Knowledge versus wisdom

    1. I want us to talk for a few minutes about the differences in knowledge and wisdom to help us drill down to what wisdom really is.
    2. In our culture, knowledge has skyrocketed
      1. You can Google anything, check Wikipedia, find out things all kinds of ways – there is an abundance of knowledge in our world today.
      2. I think we can all agree that in spite of our infusion of knowledge, we’re losing wisdom in the process.
    3. If you want to know about wisdom, the best place to turn is, of course, Proverbs.
    4. Wisdom is defined in Proverbs 2:1-6.  Solomon talks about crying out for, seeking after, and searching for wisdom.
      1. But where do you search for it?  Not in news, Google, or the profusion of knowledge.
      2. When you boil it all down, wisdom is knowing God and doing as He commands.  The fear of the Lord, knowing Who He is and what He is about is true wisdom.
      3. Wisdom is learning about Him and yearning to grow in a deeper knowledge
      4. All through Proverbs, you see what wisdom protects you from – all kinds of dangers.  Whether those dangers be evil men, strange women, bad friends, bad business decisions – wisdom can provide you lots of guidance (there’s our word again) when you are seeking first God’s kingdom and knowing Him.
    5. It is so much better to have wisdom than special revelations about the future, because we’ll have the knowledge of God.
    6. It’s really the difference in knowing that, as you enter the biomedical field, you can have the world-renowned expert in biomedics write papers for you, and studying under that same expert so that you can learn to write the same kinds of papers he writes.
      1. We often want God to write the papers for us instead of us growing in that role of being able to learn to know Him so well that we can do it ourselves.
      2. Now, obviously, I’m not talking about self-centeredness and independence from God.  Quite the contrary – growing in relationship to God involves becoming more and more dependent on Him, but not in a desperation of needing to know the future.
    7. Counsel helps us grow in wisdom
      1. Another way we can grow in wisdom that is made clear in Proverbs that wise counsel can go a long way toward getting us there.  Walking with wise men, learning from others.
      2. Now, again, there is a big difference between gaining counsel and letting your friends or family rule your life by a majority vote.  Remember the goal: We’re looking to grow in wisdom, not letting others dictate what we’re doing.
    8. Prayer helps us grow in wisdom
      1. James instructs us to ask God for wisdom when we’re lacking.  Prayer helps refocus us on what really matters.  We’re seeking the wisdom that God is ready and willing to give to us, and wants to give to us, so that we can walk in wisdom that he designs.
    9. Then, if you’re doing all of these things, live your life.
      1. Make a decision.  Don’t be afraid.  If you’re growing in your relationship with the Lord seeking God’s kingdom first), searching the Bible, listening to counsel, and praying about what’s ahead, it’s ok to go ahead and make a decision.
      2. Kevin Deyoung gives an example of our almost-obsession with “praying about things first” instead of just making a decision.  He was contacted about a speaking engagement.  He checked his calendar, the dates worked, the subject was one with which he was familiar, it was a good group, etc.  He told the guy that he could come.  But the man wouldn’t accept an answer from him until he had taken time to pray about it first.  DeYoung reiterated that everything worked out schedule and topic-wise, but the man insisted on him praying first.
      3. Now, it is definitely good to pray about things.  But is also ok to just go ahead and act if you’re studying Scripture, getting counsel, and praying continually as a way of life.  It’s ok then to make a decision – “always with wisdom, always with freedom, and sometimes even with speed.”

Application on the job front

  1. So what does this look like?  Let’s talk one major area: Jobs.
    1. When you approach a potential job, there are a few things you need to consider.
    2. Is it a God-glorifying job?
      1. You can do most things in life to the glory of God, whether that’s serving as a doctor, a lawyer, a scientist, a teacher, a construction worker, a homemaker.
      2. But if the job offer is for you to be a hit man for mafia, or a model for Playboy, those fall into the category of things you can’t do to the glory of God.
      3. So look at it – is it a job in which you can bring glory to God?
    3. Search the Scripture as well
      1. What are the things in Scripture you need to know about a job?  Well, Paul talks about being able to provide for your family.  So if you’re going to quit a job with a good salary to take a job with minimum wage, you may need to think about that for a little while in light of Scriptural principles.
      2. Obviously, there are situations where that is good and appropriate – if God is calling you to ministry, for example – but just be thinking.
    4. Churches available where the job is located.
      1. If you have to move, another area of Scriptural importance is your discipleship.  Are you going to be in a place where you can be under good teaching and grow in your sanctification?  This gets back to seeking God’s kingdom first.
    5. Get counsel – can your friends see you doing that kind of job?
      1. If not, you may need to rethink it.
    6. Pray about it – pray interview show a true picture of you, pray make a decision based on faith, pray for wisdom, pray for right motives.
    7. Then, if you’ve done all that, make a decision. You can honor the Lord in any number of positions, so don’t feel like you’ll somehow be missing God’s will or God’s best forever if you make the wrong decision.  If all of those things are good on the guidance front and things don’t work out, that’s ok – you can bring glory to God regardless if you are seeking His kingdom first.  And who knows? They just might work out great!

So what’s the point of all of this?

  1. The point is simply this: Don’t be obsessed about the future.  Don’t worry about making the “wrong” decision and missing God’s best.
    1. Focus instead on gaining wisdom—gaining it by knowing the Lord and His ways better, by searching His Word, by counsel, and by prayer.
    2. Then make a decision.  Don’t be afraid to live your life.  If you’re doing all of those things, you’re ready to make a decision and live with whatever the consequences are, resting in the fact that God is going to complete His perfect work in you – the work of conforming you to the image of His Son.
    3. It is so freeing to know that you can actually live life here on earth the way God intended.
  2. So, that completes what I have to say.  Anyone else have any comments on this topic?